we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
