I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Randomize
