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I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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