is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Randomize
