TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
