hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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