I CAN MOONWALK!
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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