Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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