I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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