So drunk its hurt
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
