It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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