so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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