two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
