I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
