i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
