Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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