I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
