We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
