She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I can't trust your balls anymore.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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