I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Randomize
