i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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