Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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