Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
