At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
