Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
