During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
