he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
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We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
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My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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