They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
