2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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