I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I just gift wrapped bread.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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