It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
