Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
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and she was petting her beer can
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
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I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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