Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Randomize
