Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
