you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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