Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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