Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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