I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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