Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
