ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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