maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
You smell like stripper and shame
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
