u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize