there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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