This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
