How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
