i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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