I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
