I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
