Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Randomize
