I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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