I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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