Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
