How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
