i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
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