I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
