So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
