I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
