If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
