I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
