She's JV to your varsity
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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