I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
