Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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